Today we had the meeting

My Mother sister and I met with the doctor, social worker, and case worker
I spoke a lot
I feel that my mother is not able to speak for herself.
and
I feel that my sister ... doesn't want the burden of uttering the words which will... bring about changes for my father.

The three of us met earlier today at my sister's house.
We discussed how we felt
what we wanted
and made an agreement on how to approach the doctor

I explained all we had discussed to the doctor.
There were no problems.
Everyone is, not exactly happy, but on the same page

On Saturday
The breathing... mask will be removed
and
the antibiotics will no longer be administered.

My father's breathing will be monitored.
Based on his oxygen intake
on Tuesday he will either return home (if he is getting enough oxygen not to need the special mask)
or be moved to a special hospice unit in a different hospital. (where they can continue to give him oxygen at a greater amount than we could give him at home)

no more antibiotics
no more attempts to cure his problems
more morphine

the focus will switch to pure comfort
(I don't want comfort when I die... I understand in my father's case because... he is like a scared little boy... he really doesn't understand what is happening to him... i want to feel the pain. I want to experience a real death...)
It looks as though... the time in which my father has to live narrows
This is so strange. My feelings swing back and forth
I want him to be peaceful
but
I don't want him to die
but I do
don't
do


I hope he can come home. I want him home again... I want to be with him... here... until the end.