About my Aunt

I mentioned my Aunt A in the last post.
Aunt A was a very special woman.
Born 20 years before my father she became something like a second mother to him
and filled in the role of grandmother for me and my sister since Dad's mom died
at 74 the year I was born.
(my true grandmother died with Alzheimer disease before they really knew much about it at all. She died in the hospital tied to a bed. A few weeks earlier she'd locked my mother out of the house. She refused to let my mother back in... she held me in her arms and my sister (almost 5) clutched her skirts and stared out at my mother on the other side of the locked door. "I don't know you. Go away" My poor mother didn't know what to do.)
Aunt A lived on a farm that she bought with Uncle N in something like 1930. They bought this property so cheaply. They had horses and chickens. It was a big farm house. Everything held importance to my Aunt. Each piece of furniture had meaning... every jar used to jar fruit each year was special. She never threw anything away unless it had reached its absolute unuseful stage. This did not mean that she pack-ratted. No... everything had its proper order. She never bought anything new unless she truly needed it.
Her favorite thing was to wake up and make breakfast. Sit and eat breakfast and listen to the birds outside her window.
She even saved plastic bags from bread loaves to reuse for other purposes.
She'd lived through the depression you see... the depression was her era really. She married during it, found out she couldn't conceive during it... worked damned hard during it... saw the world change around her during it.
Although my maternal grandmother was older than her, I couldn't speak to her because her English was poor. Aunt A was the oldest woman I knew, really.
Uncle N. worked for Ma Bell (if you are not American you may not know about Ma Bell. It was the Bell telephone company and long after monopolies were outlawed it remained a monopoly. He'd also been a veteran of WWII. When he died there were several life insurance policies (both the Bell company and veterans) AND a pretty big pension from his job. It was the 1980s and Aunt A. sold her house and property for about 12 times as much as when they'd bought it.
Aunt A. was now extremely rich (her strict attitude about the use of things fell on money as well. Not one dollar wasted unless absolutely necessary.)
My dad tells a story about her which occurred several years after the death of her husband.
She called him and told him that the senior citizen group she belonged to was going to see a show and go to dinner as well. It cost $50.
"It's too much," She told my father. "What a waste of money."
"All right, A." my father replied, "Don't go. In fact don't use your money at all, so that when you die I can use it all for me."

Aunt A went to the dinner and the show
and to several possibly frivolous events and trip after that.

The reason I mention this Aunt A. has bearing on my father's situation today.
The truth is that even with her change in attitude
when she died she did leave a large hunk of money to my father
AND THANK GOD
we would be in a very different situation right now if she hadn't.
I can't imagine the ... choicelessness? of it
the inability to have made certain decisions
we would have been forced to follow the dictates of the state
my father's existence would have been even more miserable than it is now.
The money slides away quickly but it is not being used frivolously.
Some how Aunt A. knew my father would need it.
Some how she has blessed him and us with this money to keep him comfortable and safe.

One more quick story about Aunt A.
A few years after her death I decided to try to become a vegetarian.
One June I stopped eating meat and stayed on this diet for about 30 days.
Hungry all the time... nothing I ate fulfilled me.
After a while I was going to bed with deep rumblings in my stomach
it's the closest to heroine addiction that I will probably ever come.

One night in a restless sleep I had a dream.

Aunt A. sat at a table.
In her hands she held an enormous hamburger
Lettuce and tomato peeked from the sides
and ketchup driblled out as well
she took a huge bite
"Aunt A!" I yelled, "You're eating a hamburger!"
She looked at me, lowered the burger and said,
"When your dead, you can eat whatever you want." and continued to munch.

I woke up in the morning
went straight to the kitchen
and made myself a hamburger at 8am in the morning.

Its not just my father that Aunt A. continues to watch over...