day 56 A return to normalcy?

Dad comes home tomorrow at 2pm.
I will be feeding him using a can of liquid food.

He has a peg attached to his stomach through his abdomen.
The peg is a plastic tube.
A nub seals the tube's top.

I bend the top of the tube (so that the contents of Dad's stomach do not siphon out.
I remove the nub and insert a large empty syringe.
I release the tube
I pull back on the syringe allowing the stomach contents to enter the basin of the syringe.
I measure the contents 0-40 ccs = ready to dine
40-60 ccs = just a snack
over 60 ccs = no room in stomach. I actually don't know what then happens to the stuff in the tube? I guess I return it to the stomach?
I then remove the back part of the syringe
hold it up in the air
and pour the liquid contents of the can
into the syringe
which acts like a funnel
and feeds my father's belly.
After the can is emptied
I must flush the tube with water
This, I guess is my father's drink.

I rebend the tube
I extract the syringe, replace the nub

and clean everything up...
that's the meal
4 times a day

no more food wars
no more whispered "more"s
no more clenched spoons
no more delighted "mmhms"


Huge moments in a man's life should include the moment he is no longer able to eat
puberty
diploma
marriage
children

I think this is big. Can you all... just for a moment... while you read my words
think about
the blessing that food
eating...chewing...swallowing
the textures
tastes
bitters and sweets and saltys
the quenchings
the tickle of wines
the rough throat smash of liquor
the delight tingling chocolately joys
the herbs and spices
mint and licoriches
sage and basilly paprikaishes
the crunch of fresh
and the cheesy baths

these... they are LIFE
What is left without them...?

The nurse told me... the only side effect that the peg feeding causes
is a loss of taste...