october 20th Day 10 exhaust and utter exhaustion

Today an LPN came to the house and did 2 things
the first she told me
that
unfortunately
this disease
causes patients to become upset
lash out
kick
yell
The only way to stop it
is to keep
giving him his happy meds
I'd been trying to use them
only when it was impossible not to
The LPN said
use them every day every 8 hours
that's the reason for them
so now I have found something
which may make
the rest of the day easier
but may keep my dad
a little less aware

The 2nd thing she did was to unimpact him
this mean she went inside his anal tract
with her finger
and helped some
feces to come out.

he hated this
I mean... who wouldn't

but she did it.
She was SUPER NURSE
and although this was great
and he's been better all day

I am exhausted

When I was 30 years old
I did a 3 month tour of a show
every morning we woke up early
went to a school
set up the lights, set, costumes... etc
did our show
took down the lights, set... etc
drove to another school
repeated our actions there
then drove about a hundred miles to another town
checked in to a hotel
went to sleep
then woke up the next day and did it all again

after about 5 weeks of it
i remember
i felt more tired than
i had ever felt before

now I am tireder than that