I am too tired to write, I think.
Dad smiled a lot today... but toward the end of the day he became tired and cranky.
This strange thing is happening.
Whenever we try to sit him in his chair he refuses to bend at the waist.
In fact he deliberately (of course with his disease what does the word "deliberate" actually mean?) stiffens.
This means it becomes a hassle just to perform simple tasks like feed him, or change his shirt.
When i am feeding him, I have to constantly put his chair into a horizontal position
pull him up toward the top of the chair.
Make the chair vertical again
continue to feed him
until he once again slides down the chair.
Its infuriating...
and it isn't weakness or anything.
The man is just not weak.
It's funny because he stands now (he stood for about 12 minutes one day.)
We role the chair up to the kitchen sink
help him to stand up
and he holds onto the sink
and stands.
I support him. Sometimes he pretends he is weak... he cries out... he starts to slide to the floor.
I grab onto him and yell "Dad! You are going to fall. There is no chair beneath you!"
He gets so angry at me
and immediately his legs tighten
and he is standing again
trying to punch me
or push me away.
I guess I did write tonight
even though
after all the Dad pulling
my back hurts
Hi Kevin,
ReplyDeleteI think you are a beautiful writer. I really wish I had your ability to take an experience and transpose it into something that is harmonic. I don't really think that's the right way to express what I feel when I read your blog, but I hope you get the idea. I think people get tunneled by everyday experience and it's very hard to push your brain up above a certain level. You are lucky to have the gift for it, and the gift to express it.