day 27

Okay
beneath sits another attempt at being a better writer.
This week we wrote fables.
Then in teams we critiqued each other's work.
The critiques were great! Very helpful.
This proved to be a very difficult assignment for me.
Fables have a certain structure and certain rules.
I haven't read many because I never liked to be told what to do as a kid!
Again the fable is very connected with parent to child relationships
which is the theme I chose to write all my assignments in.
Tell me what you think. Critique it! Give me a comment or two.
Keep in mind that fables are often written for a certain reading level.
I wrote pretty young I think...

As I told my classmates
I've been critiqued so much as an actor nothing you can say will hurt
only make me think.


The Ant Story
Father Mother and Tom Ant lived in a small house in Ant City. Father Ant had a job. Every day he helped build new tunnels in the city. Mother Ant had a job too. Every day she went into the forest to gather food. When Tom came home from school it was time to make dinner. Tom liked to help Mother Ant in the kitchen. She was very tired after work.
“Aren’t you too tired to make dinner?” Tom asked
“There’s always time for family.” She said.
Sometimes they made wavy gravy ham with sweet apple turnovers.
Father Ant always came home at 5 o’clock and they all ate dinner together. Every night Father Ant read Tom a story. Tom liked the stories Father Ant read. He was very tired after work.
“Aren’t you too tired to read?” asked Tom.
“There’s always time for family.” Father Ant said.
Sometimes he read stories about fire breathing dragons and longhaired princesses.
Then Father and Mother Ant kissed Tom goodnight. Tom fell asleep. He always had wonderful dreams.
When Tom grew older he got a job. He moved into his own ant apartment. He got married to an ant named Jane! She worked at the bank. They had two children. Their children’s names were Tommy and Janie. Tommy liked to play the electric guitar. He had lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Janie liked to do modern dance. She had lessons every Monday and Wednesday. Life was very busy.
One day, Tom’s mother wrote him a letter. We feel very sick, she wrote. Tom and his family rushed to the ant subway. When they got to Father’s and Mother’s ant house they found them both in bed.
Mother Ant had the flu. She kept sneezing. Father Ant’s back hurt. He kept moaning. They felt so sick they couldn’t get out of bed. Together Tom, Jane, Tommy and Janie cooked a big meal. Tom made creamy chicken soup. Jane made garlic toast. Janie and Tommie made a spinach salad with red tomatoes. All together they squeezed fresh orange juice! Mother and Father Ant ate all the food and drank all the juice. After dinner Jane cleared the dirty dishes. Tommy played his guitar and Janie modern danced. Then Janie and Tommy sat on the floor beside the bed. Jane sat on a chair. Tom Ant chose a book. The book was about fire breathing dragons and longhaired princesses. He read the story to the whole family.
Mother and Father Ant felt much better after the story. “Thank you!” They said to Tom Ant and his family.
Then Tom kissed them both good night. “There’s always time for family,” he whispered in their ears. Mother and Father Ant fell asleep. They had wonderful dreams.