I realized it may be a long time before I am able to return to Europe.
I went to expedia.com and found a cheap last minute flight to Rome.
A long time ago when I left my job
packed one small bag
and flew to Italy
it was really because of the influence of one girl.
but the story goes back further than that.
My mother's parents were Italians born in a village high up in the Apennines of Umbria. A place called Norcia. My grandfather had several brothers and sisters. Most of them left their old lives behind them and, with almost nothing in their pockets, came to face the big unknown in America... (I just realized that in a way... our stories are similar. I did the same thing but in reverse!)
Not all of the family immigrated to America.
This is how my mother now has a few cousins who are Italian.
One such cousin (I will call him cousin V) had 7 children (also considered cousins in an Italian family such as ours)
The eldest of cousin V's children is cousin E.
And cousin E is the catalyst which began the change in focus my life would take.
Cousin E is an amazing young person. She is focused and driven. She often knows what she wants and works toward getting it.
She taught me to listen to the little voice in my head
understand it better
and follow what it says...
she is one of the key reasons why I quit my job
left my family
and started my adventure
the adventure which first led me to Rome
and then to the rest of my life
and THAT is why I ha to return to my favorite city (it is changing fast there... losing its connection to me)
The way the cars sound on the street
the ice cream
the food
the wine (the cheaper the better!)
and the people ... people like my cousins.
Not 2 hours pass within the home of my cousin
before something new... exciting... magical... passionate... sweet... life changing
happens
2 parents 7 kids lots of helpers and friends visiting all the time
is a recipe for
a beautiful thing
I feel blessed to be there within it... this breathing vast entity
bodies and minds and pets... all together under that roof
I can understand how a person such as cousin E
could have risen out of it
just a few months there years ago
changed my life forever
During my 4 day stay cousin E had an interview and was called the very next day
and offered the position
in a few weeks she will fly to Malawi
She will be working with young people (I think) in 2 refugee camps.
One in Malawi and the other outside Nairobi
I get the impression that its a pretty big step for her
something along the lines of getting a role in a Broadway play.
In Italy ... on this journey
once again I reevaluated my life
many people asked me about my decision to return home and help my father.
When I came to Rome... that first time
there was this freedom in the air... possibility everywhere
and now there is
almost the same
I know it may sound crazy
but I think
by returning to the US
and caring for my Dad
It actually increases the possibilities
opens up the next chapter of my life
I know that my days with my Dad will be difficult
that each day will be routine
that sometimes he will allow me to help him
sometimes I will have to fight
but my life is my own
what I am doing with it is my own decision
and when I look beyond my time with my father
to the future
i see a world almost as exciting as
the one I saw when I first arrived in Italy.
Anything can happen... really... already IS happening
and all because I have made this decision.
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