3 conversations? and an escape

Dad has a roommate named Mr. Robbins
He's new at the facility.
Whenever I visit, Mr. Robbins calmly sits up in his chair stares at the television and says absolutely nothing.
Another patient you may remember, Virginia petter...
here's a quick story
to give you a little background on her nickname.
Whenever she catches my eye (which is as often as possible) her eyes light up.
She seems to be... and is... a very pleasant person.
Hair always perfectly set
warm smile
She moves around great
looks about 65

so... she see me
and her eyes light up...
She walks over and has...
what is to her a conversation
and to me
only a smiling and shaking of the head and maybe a few MmmnHmms and Uh-huhs and of courses
which is maybe my mistake
because then she gets physical
and I mean... almost like...
Did you ever see Ghostbusters?
There is a scene with Sigourney Weaver as the gatekeeper or whatever?
well almost like that but the 70 year old version.
Her hand falls upon my arm
"Oooh" she says and "that's nice"
I make a sort of gargly noise like "umph"
'You like that?"
She asks...
ummm
Tonight she even said
"You are COCKy"
and I swear there was emphasis on the capital section of the word.
I haven't felt so nervous since my first performance in a play in 2nd grade.
My role was Peter rabbit's brother.
I had to walk up to a microphone (What do little kids know about voice control?)
look up at the ceiling as if it were the sky and say
"It sounds like thunder."
all while wearing a pair of rabbit ears made from white construction paper and a tail made of several cotton balls glued together.
During rehearsal I often uttered the wrong line, saying
"It sounds like lightening"
enraging my teacher who would then pull on my right ear (the real one and not the rabbit one) and lead me
in this way
back to the classroom
while all the other kids
laughed
so believe me... opening night
I was nervous.
What should a 42 year old gay man do
when a 70 something year old female alzheimer patient
comes onto him?

Another bizarre story involves my mother
asking my Dad
how he was
he told her
"Great! Today I danced"
"who did you dance with?" asked my mother.
"All my girlfriends"
This made my mother extremely angry and jealous...
The fact that my father can't even WALK never crossed her suspicious mind

and the last conversation I heard this evening
was between Tony Flirt and Estra bigrims

(tony reaches out his hand and pokes Esra)
Esra: You get your hand off of me!
Tony: What's wrong?
Esra: Keep your hands to yourself.
Tony: I can't touch you?
Esra: What?
Tony: I can't touch you?
Esra: No you can't.
Tony: But you're pretty.
Esra: I have been around a lot longer than you have and I've heard it all. Your lines don't work on me. What time is it? Has the bus arrived?

Esra is something like 85?
and Tony is probably in his 70's
Can an 85 year old actually tell a 70 year old that she's been around longer than he... I mean it's true... technically
but I think if you both have a pretty good memory
of Truman in the whitehouse....

After these amusing but bizarre experiences
I walked out into the small courtyard abutting the Alzheimer wing of the building.
And there
quiet
somber
reactionless
Mr. Robbins
Is climbing up and over the wall.
He's standing on the back of a lawn chair
his arms and one leg draped over the wall
He was escaping!
I called a nurse
and when she told him to come down
he said
"If I come down Ill fall. Just let me get to the top. Then I can turn around and come down the right way."