Creative Writing class number 2

I have taken a second creative writing course...
so I'll share you the "dramatic scene" we had to write. I think its supposed to feel suspenseful. Could you let me know your reactions to it? Is it suspenseful?
Again it is a story including my Dad... but in a new way.



DOZER

Something cracks in the quiet of the night. I try to keep it down, my mind.

I want sleep.

My eyes feel weird.

It’s outside my window, that rustle… and another sound.
I know that sound.

I make my body a ball, pull the covers over my head.

But two voices start speaking. They are like whispers but not.
Two men talk quietly outside my window, and still that other noise, I know that noise, the rustling and the… grunting?

“Just hold him still” one man says.

I am awake. It’s in that weird time, before the sun but no longer really night. My bedroom looks gray, not black.

“You won’t shoot me, will you?” My father says in his joking voice.
“Naw” the man chuckle-says.

I slowly sit up, and try to move my lazy body around. Nothing wants to work right now.

“Hold 'im still” the strange man’s voice says. “I gotta’ hit ‘im just right”

“Okay” Dad, again.

I lean, in a twisted position over my desk, my knees on my bed, and I pull one end of my curtain to the side. Outside, it expects morning, the darkness is bleeding away. That grunt comes again. I look out from my window into our driveway. In the gray light I see my Dad. He’s holding a lead. On the end of the lead is Dozer, a cow. We got two cows last year. I hadn’t cared much, we already owned 3 horses, some chickens, and a screwed up goat.

A boom suddenly echoes, I slip off the bed and bang my knee against the desk, my hand strains to keep me up and I tear the curtain a little.

Then there’s a scream, something like a scream… a peal of scream. I balance myself and am standing now.

“Shit!” Dad curses.

I look out again. It’s lighter. It amazes me how fast the morning can come sometimes. I see my Dad running into the trees by the side of the driveway. I see a large man holding a rifle and laughing at my Dad. In the trees I see Dozer, the screaming sound is coming from him. He is trying to run through the trees, but the lead got itself caught on a limb.

“Jesus” I whisper. In that moment, it clicks. I know something is going to happen, something more terrible than shooting our cow.
In a burst I open my window and scream…
“Run Dozer!”
the cow is screaming too.
“RUN”
Dozer makes a sound like car breaks, in a frenzy he staggers from side to side, trying desperately to free himself.
RUN
Something snaps and Dozer gets free, my Dad isn’t able to catch the lead, Dozer begins to run and although I keep screaming, that one word
RUN
Inside I begin to calm down. Dozer will get away. I’m safe.
A second boom enters the lightening sky. My Dad, surprised, ducks his head like a war soldier. Dozer stops running through the trees. Dozer stops screaming. The bullet must have entered his skull because there is a red spot… a place I can look at but can’t… examine. Dozer’s eyes shut down, his legs, sort of one by one, buckle underneath him.
I am 13, but somehow I feel different. Something changes inside of me. That terribleness I had felt before returns. It never goes away.